Karwa Chauth just went by. It’s the festival that some married Hindu women observe where they fast from sunrise to moonrise for the long life and wellbeing of their husbands. I’ve paid attention to the conversation that takes place every year with many women calling it backward and outdated and unnecessary. More than anything, I’ve noticed what a strong reaction the festival often elicits — the vehement opposition, the outrage, the disbelief at how this practice still exists.
This got me thinking a bit. My initial reaction has been to dismiss this tradition because I never quite agreed with the "why". That Karwa Chauth is a tradition that seeks to prolong the life of one's husband is not inclusive and rooted in patriarchy.
That said, I did reflect on a version of this that we celebrate in East India. I should know what it's called but perhaps I chose to forget. I know several well educated women from my family who celebrate it. While the stated objective is the well-being of one's husband when I've asked them why they did it, not one has stated that objective. I realize it's something they continue to do for two reasons
1. At the time questioning the norm was not something one could do as freely as we do today. So they did it because it's something that's been done for so long
2. It gave women a sense of strength and solidarity. Misery and hardship loves company.
I am totally with you that if one chooses to do this, it's not up to me to question that choice. I will however, continue to challenge the "why".
Thanks for reading x You're right and I think that's how a lot of practices continue -- simply because people have been doing them forever and have not thought to question them. You're also right about the sense of solidarity among women. Even when I've seen Bollywood wives and people on Facebook post photos all dressed up with women in their family, that's what it seemed like. A giant party for women to come together to celebrate. I think we can ask the "why" for ourselves but if women who practice it choose not to or have their own reasons that may not necessarily be what we agree with, maybe it's a good idea to make peace with that too, IMO.
This got me thinking a bit. My initial reaction has been to dismiss this tradition because I never quite agreed with the "why". That Karwa Chauth is a tradition that seeks to prolong the life of one's husband is not inclusive and rooted in patriarchy.
That said, I did reflect on a version of this that we celebrate in East India. I should know what it's called but perhaps I chose to forget. I know several well educated women from my family who celebrate it. While the stated objective is the well-being of one's husband when I've asked them why they did it, not one has stated that objective. I realize it's something they continue to do for two reasons
1. At the time questioning the norm was not something one could do as freely as we do today. So they did it because it's something that's been done for so long
2. It gave women a sense of strength and solidarity. Misery and hardship loves company.
I am totally with you that if one chooses to do this, it's not up to me to question that choice. I will however, continue to challenge the "why".
Thanks for reading x You're right and I think that's how a lot of practices continue -- simply because people have been doing them forever and have not thought to question them. You're also right about the sense of solidarity among women. Even when I've seen Bollywood wives and people on Facebook post photos all dressed up with women in their family, that's what it seemed like. A giant party for women to come together to celebrate. I think we can ask the "why" for ourselves but if women who practice it choose not to or have their own reasons that may not necessarily be what we agree with, maybe it's a good idea to make peace with that too, IMO.