I’ve been thinking about identity a lot lately. Not just mine but identity as a concept. Where does the idea of who we are come from? Is it something we’re told and so we accept? Is it as closely tied to a physical place as pop culture would have us believe? Is it something we inherently feel in a way we can’t quite articulate? Is it some combination of all of the above?
Or like I read in Adilah Ismail’s newsletter, is cultural identity a work in progress like sociologist Stuart Hall argues. In his 1996 essay ‘Cultural Identity and Diaspora’, Hall says cultural identity is about “becoming”, going through constant change during a person’s lifetime.
This would help make sense of the friend we grew up with but no longer recognise. Of the family member we once shared a special bond with and now no longer have anything in common with. Of the acquaintance we once knew who, for whatever reason, changed completely, shedding their old self like old skin and getting a new set of friends, a different accent, a whole new wardrobe. A new identity.
My own identity, as a woman, has gotten so much stronger in the last few years following a major life event as I’ve become acutely aware of how so much of the world is structured to the disadvantage of women. It’s made me embrace my intersectional identity as an Indian Muslim woman more wholly, without making excuses for any part of it.
This process has made me more conscious of the experiences of women and how so much determines whether they have the luxury, the privilege of expressing their identity or not. Did she receive a formal education? If yes, what kind of education was this? How long did she receive this? What was her situation at home like? What did she do after finishing school? Does she have access to her own money? Alter any of these slightly and the odds already stacked against her increase dramatically.
We live in what still is a “man’s world” as much as we might not like to call it that. This is the context women must operate in until we have a more widely equal world. It starts with something as simple as our name. Many women are expected, by their own family, in-laws and society, to take their husband’s name as a surname and suffer through the nightmare paperwork that follows. Sometimes they have a say in this. Often, they don’t. In 2021, some women will even change their first names, leaving behind all trace of who they are before stepping into a new life with a man.
Here’s something I wrote about my name.
When Bollywood star Sonam Kapoor changed her name a few years ago after marrying her husband, adding his last name to her own, it stirred plenty of conversation. Why should such a public figure who stands for “modern,” “progressive” values, according to the media, resort to something so regressive? Sonam defended her decision, saying that a woman’s right to choose is essential to the idea of feminism. And I have to agree.
I don’t bring up Sonam’s example lightly. I really think it was a powerful public statement, especially in a country like India where movie stars hold the kind of influence they do. The film industry, the media and pop culture, in general, is a mirror of the times we live in which is why what happens here, within this space, is serious business. It is intrinsic to the shaping of an entire generation’s identity. And also why representation here is so so important.
There’s plenty of exciting showbiz news to share.
In Women Wins This Week:
Two women have been nominated for best director at the Oscars, which is the first time more than one woman is competing for the prize in this category (in 93 years🤯🤯🤯). Only five women have ever been nominated and only ONE has won. More 😳😳😳
Continuing with Oscar firsts, Viola Davis is now the most nominated Black female actor in Oscar history. She’s also the only one to have won the award twice. And not a woman win, but also deserves mention is Riz Ahmed who is the FIRST Muslim actor to be nominated for best actor. I cannot wait to watch him in Sound of Metal. It wasn’t until as recently as 2016 when Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim actor to win the award in a supporting role. After #oscarssowhite and the awards called, “pale, male and stale” in the past, this year’s nominations are a welcome and necessary change.
While on the topic of the Oscars, tell me whether you find the term “bamboo ceiling” insulting? Improper? I can’t make up my mind about it. Language is such a big part of identity and words matter. The journalist who first used the term to describe Asian actors finally being recognised by the Oscars, who is also a person of Asian descent, is standing by it. What do you think? Are terms like bamboo ceiling okay to use?
On the smaller screen but sending a big message, Glitch Techs, an American animated television series available on Netflix, has a recurring Muslim character, Zahra, who wears a headscarf (*read below why this is important).
Mariam Khan writes about how the portrayal of Muslims on screen still has so much further to go. She talks about the importance of Muslims being involved in developing Muslim-related content to improve nuance and just better capture the stories they are trying to tell.
This is clearly a problem.
Sue Obeidi and Evelyn Alsultany emphasise why this is necessary and how it can be done in Hollywood too.
Queen Bey always slays and this year at the Grammys was no different. She and Taylor Swift made history with Beyonce setting a new record for most Grammy wins (she has 28 so far) and TS becoming the first female artist to win “Album of the Year” three times.
Amira Daugherty is the first hijab-wearing contestant on American Idol. And Naimah Muhammad sings this fantastic track with the best lyrics. It’s called Born to be a Fighter. Hell yeah.
Am I late to the party or did everyone else know about Tamil hip hop? This is the story of Arivu, the rapper in Enjoy Enjaami, one of the sickest tunes I’ve heard in recent times. I don’t understand Tamil. But you don’t need to. Watch the video, whose art direction is as fascinating as the music (I totally got Missy Elliott “Get Ur Freak On” vibes). Look me in the eye and tell me Dhee, the singer, doesn’t give you Beyonce vibes.
Social media can be a real energy and time sap. But it has so many plusses too. Like when a ban on girls singing in public was reversed after women posted videos online singing in protest.
Deesha Philyaw has won the 2020 Story Prize. This is significant in an industry that is infamously homogenous. Last year, there was plenty of chatter about this report, which found that children’s books are not nearly as representative as they should be. It made me think of the last time I read a book, as a child or an adult, and truly felt seen. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a single one. I know I’m not the only one. Children are impressionable and what they’re exposed to early helps them form some thoughts which they will carry through life. So books like Fauja Singh Keeps Going by Simran Jeet Singh, illustrated by Baljinder Kaur and Kunda Kids gives me hope. We need so much more of this*.
Yashica Dutt has won the Sahitya Akademi Yuva Puruskar, India’s National Academy of Letters’ Young Writers Award 2020, for her memoir Coming Out As Dalit.
I came across this story about three early women war reporters and I need to know more about them.
Aina Khan (pronounced Ay-na, not Eye-na) has become The New York Times’ first International Fellow. And as she says in the rest of this thread👇🏼 , it is so important for people like her - a headscarf-wearing Muslim woman - to be in a major newsroom. I’ll add Aina’s success is necessary to remind every little girl who wants to grow up to be a journalist and might doubt whether she can exist in such places. Me and all those little girls and lots of other girls are cheering for Aina.
In more positive journalism developments, Thomson Foundation in London worked with Tribal News Network, a radio station in Peshawar, on a research project to help 12 women journalists tell stories on topics like child marriage, sexual harassment and female literacy and education. A similar but much older initiative is Khabar Lahariya, an all-women news network to come out of rural India. Follow them on Twitter and Instagram.
As lockdown continues, gyms might not be open yet but this has meant something unexpected for Muslim women as they’ve used this time to redefine their relationship with exercise.
Helping people stay fit, have fun and stay safe are these lifeguards in Goa. In India, you just wouldn’t expect them to be women.
In light of the recent anti-Asian crime in the United States, I came across this piece by Alisha Haridasani Gupta which made me aware of the identity of Asian women specifically. And it made me think about the identity of Indian women, which although is changing (still really only in urban, moneyed circles), puts so much pressure on them to meet an absurd standard of wholesomeness, usually at the cost of their happiness and wellbeing.
Read about this Asian American grandmother who was attacked in a hate crime and has received nearly $1 million in donations towards her medical expenses — which she now plans to give away to the Asian American community to help fight racism.
Finally, just as visible as the media and pop culture is politics. So can we give it up for Deb Haaland who has become the first Native American Cabinet secretary when the Senate confirmed her as President Biden’s Interior secretary. About 👏 damn 👏time 👏.
And New Zealand has approved paid leave after a miscarriage. This includes adoption and surrogacy. But I’m not sure about it lasting only three days. Did you know, India provides six weeks of paid leave for a miscarriage?
The world is such a weird place at the moment and it makes me think how many people are forced to hide their true selves just to “fit in”, to not draw attention to themselves, to not cause trouble. And it’s so sad that anyone ever feels like that because why do we all have to be similar to get along?
I don’t drink, for instance. And it’s often such a conversation point. I’m always happy to answer questions about it which are born out of genuine curiosity. But I have no patience for implications that someone who drinks (or smokes or lives more promiscuously or dresses to show more skin than I choose to) is somehow better than me. You’d be surprised how many people feel they can take the liberty to make such a personal and direct insinuation. I know that’s an oxymoron. But you know what I mean.
It’s so easy to pigeonhole women, put a label on them and make that their identity. Unless women give women space to be themselves, to be who they want to be, to grow into their identity on their own terms, we will not really be free or equal, feeding into and perpetuating toxic narratives instead.
The world is boring in so many ways. We don’t need to be clones of each other to add to it. In a world that forces us to be a certain type, pick a side and stick to it, identity gives us permission to be our own person. We don’t need any more of anything telling us we’ll only be “accepted” if we erase all parts of ourselves which aren’t palatable to the majority. Sameness, darling, is so 2019.
I hope you’ll always stay wonderfully weird and unapologetically you. It’s not easy but I hope you’ll be brave enough to try, not for the sake of but because you want to, because it’s important to you. And if you spot someone struggling to stay true to themselves in a sea of mainstream-ness, I hope you’ll throw them a float.
xx
AA