How old is old enough?
Hello!
I’m back.
I had some downtime, as I hope you did too.
And now, I’m back.
Should women’s legal age to marry be increased to 21 years? My first instinct is to say, yes! 100 percent. Eighteen-year-olds can’t decide whether they’re ready to marry or not, to know whom they’re saying yes to with the idea of staying with this person potentially for the rest of their lives, to weather the immense social and cultural pressure that marriage inevitably brings.
But by that argument, I’m not sure 21 is much of an improvement. Or 25. Heck, who says you know how to deal with this stuff at 40?
So does changing the legal age really matter?
I read a really interesting tweet thread that I didn’t save because I wasn’t sure if I agreed with it entirely but some of what it talked about was that if the legal age is raised, like it recently has been in India, it won’t stop plenty of the country marrying underage women anyway. All this will do is drive up the child marriage rates (my conclusion) and keep women in marriages that aren’t recognised by the law (tweeter’s opinion). This will make many women vulnerable to being treated poorly by husbands and their families, with no recourse to the law. There’s also plenty of research about how women who marry too young, often as children, are much more likely to face physical, emotional, financial and sexual abuse at a time in their lives when neither their bodies nor hearts are ready to withstand it like an adult’s might.
From what I remember of the Twitter thread, the person ended with saying that the only real solution is to make women aware of their rights. To give them as much control of their lives as possible so they can make decisions that are best for their circumstances. Equipped with the right information, even when the odds are stacked against them, they might do differently, fight back a bit harder, simply because they know better.
And I have to agree.
There’s no universal formula that can be applied to many complex, multilayered problems, like when a woman should marry or when she should leave a marriage. Instead of attempting to come up with answers to these questions, maybe it’s better to give the people most affected by these experiences greater agency in deciding what works best for them.
I read this incredible story, which reminded me how sometimes, women’s struggles are so similar, regardless of where in the world they are. This story is set in Armenia. But it is strikingly similar to the reality in plenty of India, rural and urban, poor and wealthy.
In Women Wins
My friend Shefali’s, RickPics story. Gold, if you’re looking for 90s Bollywood nostalgia captured in a way only Shefali can, bringing it alive with the kind of humour she does best. Follow her on Instagram.
Leena Nair was the first woman, first Indian and youngest person to become Chief Human Resources Officer of Unilever before she recently repeated her record to become the first female and youngest CEO of Chanel.
This heartwarming image
And this.
Maya Angelou becomes the first Black woman to be featured on an American quarter. It’s taken more than 200 years for a Black woman to appear on the coin of a free and powerful country. Why? It’s also come eight years after she’s passed on.
The survivors of the Larry Nassar abuse scandal received $380 million in a settlement. I know this is something, it is significant. But can you ever put a price on an experience like this?
Anna Kessel also happens to be The Telegraph’s first-ever Women’s Sports editor. Although why she didn’t wasn’t given the entire sports section to manage, men and women’s, I don’t know.
Watch Skidrow Marathon — such a gentle, non-judgemental film about men’s struggles, the societal pressures on them to have their lives together, the pressure they put on themselves — to have answers to everything, to get it right the first time, to not make mistakes. An unexpected sports movie.
And please watch The Gospel According to Andre available on Amazon Prime. Directed and produced by Kate Novack, I was initially interested in knowing more about Andre, the former Vogue Editor-at-Large, after listening to this episode of Fresh Air from a 2018 conversation with Terry Gross. Terry is one of the greatest radio hosts ever so it was quite something to listen to her be slightly thrown by an interviewee who talks lots, loud, fast because it definitely doens’t happen often.
Andre died a few days ago at the age of 73. I remember seeing Andre for the first time on television with Anna Wintour. It was around the time I was in journalism school and I wanted to BE Anna Wintour (I don’t want to anymore) and back then it was so unusual to see a large Black man accompanying the Vogue editor-in-chief who wasn’t known to make friends easily. How could this man who looked every bit as though he had no business being around someone as powerful as Anna possibly be at such ease around her? Like a friend?
It’s why looks are so deceptive, media is so powerful and stories are so important. The documentary is an intimate portrait of how a Black boy in an impoverished, racially segregated part of America, while raised by his grandmother who worked as a maid, grew up to be one of the most influential insiders in an industry that is not kind to outsiders. A story of no matter how far you go, you don’t forget where you come from. It’s the kind of story I love the most, of breaking down barriers, creating a place for yourself, writing your own rules and not listening to anyone who tries to tell you where you belong. I urge you to watch.
Like I mentioned the last time, this newsletter might not be weekly anymore. I’ll try and send out an edition on the last Friday of each month.
Auntie Ayesha turns one year old this month!
Until next month,
xx
AA
Great post
Great post